Overcoming hateful feelings takes work and patience.
Learning overcome hate remains an ongoing spiritual practice for many people Whether the hate involves something more or less trivial, such as hating to cook or a more consuming type of hatred such as that for another person or group, accruing the patience and wisdom to work through issues of hate can be a lifelong journey.
Instructions
1. Identify the object of your hatred. Spend some time examining exactly what it is you hate about a particular person. This provides a foundation on which you can begin your work. Try to look beyond the superficial layer and go deeper. Try to find the exact reason you hate someone or something. Look for behaviors or actions that you may dislike rather than hating the entire person.
2. Resolve the conflict when possible. If hated of another is based on a long-standing disagreement, perhaps now is a good time to bury the hatchet. This may be exceedingly awkward and uncomfortable, but may help put the past behind you. If the conflict cannot be resolved in this way, for example, if the object of hatred is a political party or ethnic group, work towards examining your own belief system as a way of overcoming this hatred.
3. Work towards forgiving someone for the harm they have done. "Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong." says Mayo Clinic staff chaplain, Katherine Piderman, Ph.D., "You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life."
4. Seek psychological, spiritual or community guidance if necessary. Talking with people who have either been through your situation or are in a place to listen objectively can be of great importance when working to move past hatred. This allows for an opportunity to speak freely, without being judged and can offer a different perspective as well as tools for helping to replace hate with a less destructive emotion.
5. Replace hateful thoughts with loving ones. Coretta Scott King, widow of Martin Luther King Jr., said, "Hate is too great a burden to bear. It hurts the hater more than it injures the hated." These words suggest that when we hate, a part of us loses the ability to find love and forgiveness, ultimately hurting ourselves. Some suggest that praying for the well being of someone we have hateful feelings for is a way to shift thoughts of hate to love, or at least acceptance. This may be seem impossible at times, but working on developing a new response to the object of your hatred will start the process.
6. Take it easy on yourself. This process may take some time, particularly if the damage done to you or a loved on was deeply painful. Understand that everyone goes through these challenges at some point in their lives and have to find their own paths towards working through these feelings.
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