Relationships can be difficult and take a lot of work. Many people take self-esteem and control issues into a relationship, and abuse may result. If both parties genuinely want to save the relationship and change their behavior patterns, they must work at it. Many people are not shown or taught have a healthy relationship, so studying the subject can be helpful. Here are steps for moving toward a healthy relationship and healing the past.
Instructions
Process
1. Talk to your partner honestly about what is happening in your relationship. Both parties must want to save the relationship and both must take responsibility for the relationship. This means the victim must be prepared to refuse to accept abuse anymore and the abuser must want to change behavioral patterns.
2. Discuss feelings in a calm manner using "I" statements: "I feel hurt" as opposed to "You make me feel hurt." This will help prevent the discussion from getting too heated.
3. Make a plan together for what steps you will take to save the relationship. Take immediate action to begin this plan.
4. Purchase a book on relationships and begin to study the nature of relationships, abuse cycles and overcome them. Both parties must be willing to study their relationship patterns and how relationships work. Purchase a book that reflects your current situation in your relationship.
5. Make an appointment with a couples therapist. Professional help is essential to overcome abusive cycles. Habitual responses and behaviors may be hard to change, and a professional can guide the process and teach new ways to relate.
6. Make individual appointments to see a therapist. The victim may need to repair some of the emotional damage from the abuse as well as deal with self-esteem, and the abuser needs to learn coping skills and may also need therapy for anger management and control issues.
7. Keep a daily journal of your feelings and experiences within the relationship and within yourself. Have open and honest discussions with your partner on a regular basis to discuss progress in healing your relationship.
8. Avoid openly blaming each other for pain in the relationship once you have moved past the apology and forgiveness process. It is important that both parties feel able to move forward with a clean slate, otherwise you are likely to isolate each other and be unable to move forward as a couple.
Tags: save relationship, your relationship, Both parties, Both parties must, control issues, each other