Verbal abuse can be devastating, and its effects are pervasive. With time and care, you can overcome the destructive effects of verbal abuse, and regain confidence and self-esteem
Instructions
1. Get away from your abuser. Leave the relationship, end the friendship, or, if the abuse happens in the workplace, talk to someone in HR. Ending the abuse is a powerful step: think of this as a positive, proactive move. You're not running away from anything, you're standing up for yourself. Be proud that you've accomplished this!
2. Give yourself permission to explore your feelings. Feelings are never bad. Its okay to feel enraged, hurt, frightened, alone, vengeful: let yourself feel, and accept that your feelings are justified and reasonable.
3. Talk about it. If you can afford therapy, great: explore the many therapy options available until you find someone you're comfortable talking to. If you're light in the wallet, turn to friends and family for support. Make sure that whomever you talk to doesn't insult you or belittle you in any way: find a friend who is sympathetic, validates you, and points out your positive attributes.
4. Find things to like about yourself. Make a list of things you like or are proud of. Its okay if the list starts short: carry it with you and add to it. Nothing is too minor: include any and everything that pleases you. Any time you feel low, re-read your list, over and over. Remember the things you were proud of doing, including leaving the abusive relationship. Feel the strength and power of that action: you are mighty! Start new hobbies and projects that make you feel good, strong, capable, smart, and creative.
5. Act out if you need to, but check with your support network to make sure its safe. Scream really loud, have a good cry, imagine all the things you'd like to say to your abuser and yell them at his/her photograph. Then rip up the photograph. Then flush it down the toilet.
6. Repeat until you begin to feel better. Then repeat again. Verbal abuse is a mental injury, and like any injury it takes time to heal. Give yourself all the time in the world. Its okay if you sometimes fall back into negative thinking, just go back through all the steps that helped in the past: talk to your friends, re-connect with your hobbies, cry, anything that helps. There is no set time for healing. You're doing a good job!
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