If you're facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may worry about many things, including how you're going to tell your family. While not all family members may react to the news in a positive way, especially at first, telling your family can help you feel better about not having to make decisions alone and can provide you with a valuable source of support.
Time Frame
Some people begin telling family about an unplanned pregnancy as soon as they get a positive home pregnancy test, while others prefer to get a doctor's confirmation first. When you begin telling your family, keep in mind that holiday gatherings or times of stress are generally not the best time to break the news of an unplanned pregnancy. You should tell family when they have time to sit down and talk with you privately, rather than when they're just about to head out the door or have just come home from a busy day.
Effects
Family members may react in a variety of ways to your unplanned pregnancy. Some may be overjoyed, while others may initially be angry or upset. Like you, your family may have concerns about your ability to carry and care for a child and wonder what you're going to do. You probably have some idea of how many of your family members will react, while others may surprise you. Some people may not know respond or may take their cue from how you feel about the pregnancy. Many family members will change the way they feel over time, as they begin to accept the reality of the pregnancy.
Considerations
Before you begin telling your family, try to prepare yourself for their potential reactions. You should also consider how you would like them to react and be able to tell them what you need. If they react with judgment or harsh words, remind them this is a difficult time for you and that you would appreciate their support. If they try to pressure you into making decisions about parenting, adoption or abortion right away, encourage them to let you take your time to make informed choices.
Benefits
Although telling your family about an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult, it's important to let them know so that you don't have to deal with everything secretly. Even family members who are hesitant about the pregnancy can be a valuable source of support. They can encourage you to seek appropriate health care and professional counseling and may even go with you to your appointments. They can also help guide you as make difficult decisions about the future. If you're still a teenager or living at home, they may also be willing to provide some level of financial support for your housing, medical care or child care expenses.
Warning
Most people with an unplanned pregnancy worry about how their family will react to the news, and in many cases, their reactions may not be as bad as initially feared. However, if you have genuine concerns about your safety or think some of your family members might try to harm you because of an unplanned pregnancy, you should seek a safe place to go first. Pregnancy counselors and crisis centers can often refer clients to a safe place, or you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, linked below, for help.
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